The Mommy Conflict - Saving the World

This morning I sat and read every one's blogs. It is always such a poignant experience for me. It stirs up contradictory and uncomfortable feelings. I feel so grateful that I am able to see me friends and watch their children grow through pictures and video. But greater than that is the sense of worldly unjust that I am only able to experience their lives via the internet. Why can't I simultaneously live in Miami and Minneapolis? (I actually tried to convince two co-workers this week who are going to Minnesota to visit - to go to the Leafblad's and Toohey's houses and take photos for me!) The plethora of amazing photos of Amelia on Miami beaches makes my want to scream, "I want my BEACH!" and I want to see this charismatic little one in person. I read the Mommy blogs and wonder, "What would I do if I were home full time?" Mostly I think I would pull out my hair, but every morning (and I do mean every single morning without fail) that I am driving to school, I brainstorm how we could financially afford me staying home part time. I haven't hit on any solutions other than the obvious - have a third child which would then completely negate my salary. While a solution in one sense of the word, not so much in many other ways (sanity for instance).

So I am left wondering every day, why do I work so hard all the time? What drives me? Here it is in a nut shell. I want to save the world. And while I recognize that it is a difficult job, nearing improbable, I can't give up on the possibility that I can impact the world in a big way. I really don't worry about the kids of my friends. Heck most of my friends are educators, but there are a lot of parents that don't know how to advocate for their own kids. There are parents who are too damn busy working multiple jobs to keep the family afloat, to have excess free time to spend reading with their kids or letting them help make the pancakes. At barely 3, Lorelei is on par or has surpassed a lot of the students in my school when it comes to having foundational life experiences that pave they way for future learning. She can't read yet, but she sure knows how books and text work. She knows what storytelling sounds like. She notices numbers, colors and shapes in the world. She has traveled (I think it is fair to say widely for a 3 year old). She has chopped, shredded, peeled, stirred, measured and poured in our kitchen a good number of times. She knows how to run, jump, hop, dance, climb, swing and slide because she has had lots of opportunities and places to practice. She walks in two worlds of language - Spanish and English. She lives in a world rich with opportunities to be independent, to fail, to ask for help.

I love my children. I miss them almost every day, but I recognize how much they gain by being in day care eating well (how many 3 year olds do you know that eat every fruit and vegetable on the planet, love fish and don't know what macaroni and cheese is? That's all daycare.) They get Spanish langauge support at a far more advanced level than what I can provide. They know how to say hello and good-bye. They have multiple friends and learn to negotiate sharing (things and time). My children are better off having been raised by a multitude of people (a village if you will) then just me. Some parents have an extensive network of family and friends nearby to be the village. For us, daycare provides a lot of that support (Monday through Friday 7-5:30).

Through school, I can be a part of the community village for 200+ kids. I'm a sucker for the possibilities.

Oakland Zoo

We spent Memorial Day at the Oakland Zoo celebrating Noora's 3rd birthday. I love watching the girls together. They figure out how to communicate and get along (most of the time). Lorelei surprises me every time by whipping out English that I didn't know she knew. Both of the girls are communicative and definitely have learned to use their words so even when there is disagreement, one of the girls will announce that the other isn't sharing fairly. So cute.

Emma and Andres were both a bit sick that day, but Emma fought off sleep for the majority of our time at the zoo. She doesn't want to miss a thing!

New Brighton Beach

My friend, Laila, and her almost 3 year old, Noora suggested that we have a play date to the zoo. Great idea until the heatwave was factored in. When Lorelei was just a few weeks old we visited the Miami Zoo during a June heatwave. It was incredibly hot and wilty! When Lorelei was 1 we visited a zoo in Palm Desert - in the desert - in July - in a heatwave. Not wanting to relive those moments, I suggested a change of venue. So to the beach we went! The girls had a great time playing in the sand and surf. Laila and I managed to simultaneously talk about things other than school and both get sunburned. The beach time shift held up. Just a few hours at the beach felt like an entire day. Only at the beach does time actually slow down!

* I believe it was with a salty wet finger that Lorelei took this photo of Laila and me.

Lorelei's Curtain Call

Lorelei had her final ballet class last weekend. The parents, family and friends were able to sit in and watch the last class. Lorelei seemed to be affected by all the watching and essentially didn't follow any of the teacher's directions. After everyone else had sashayed or butterfly winged across the floor, Lorelei would just sprint to the other side. Were thinking she might be better suited to the soccer lessons coming up in June. After that, maybe gymnastics.

Emma Sprouts Teeth

Emma now has two bottom teeth. They sprouted amid a cold and fever just to make the experience really memorable for everyone in the family. They emerged about 3 weeks ago. The first photo shows the ever present old lady sucking of the gums. The second photo gives a hint of a glimpse at the elusive to photo teeth.

She's putting those teeth to good use by eating as much as she can. She has a fair amount of jealousy about the foods that she sees others eating. This week she happily chomped away on a large carrot for a while.