This morning before heading off to school, Emma wanted to stop and play in the "park" (on the playground). There is an element of the play structure that will be immediately familiar to all moms, dads and other such people that hang out in parks these days. It is similar to a ladder but made of metal and arched liek a half rainbow. The steps are far enough apart that I could easily slip between them - let along small children. The top of the ladder reaches about 6 feet high. It is the only aspect of our playground that I worry about - especially because Emma loves it. So this morning I was thinking about my personal style of parenting and a very important component is the "Invisible Net". I want my children to grow up unafraid. Being strong, independent and adventurous are all valued character traits for me, and if I can influence the adoption of these traits, I will. So far nature seems to be on my side with both the girls. So now I nurture that spirit by giving them almost free rein.
What isn't apparent to a casual observer is that while my children are running around seemingly unfettered, I am constantly vigilant. I anticipate dangers and do my best to mitigate them
without it being overtly obvious to my children that I am protecting them.
When my mom was out visiting us in California in July, I was reminded of this hidden protectiveness. Grandma Becky wasn't comfortable with what looked like I wasn't watching enough or concerned enough about what the girls were doing. She also learned that she is suprisingly more protective of her grandchildren then she was of her own children - too long off the job I think.
I do hope that at some point my children will assume responsibilty for maintaining their own safety within reasonable bounds, but as much as I can help them learn it now, it is still my duty to be the
invisible safety net.
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